I'll always be with you
by Frenchrauslly
Summary: What's going on when Laura learn the most sad new of her life? How will react her family or friends? And above all, how will react Ross? RAURA.
1. Prologue

Raura : I'll always be with you

_Prologue_

I'm in my bedroom since many hours now, I don't know how much time exactly but my mother went many times knocked to my door, a few times for talk to me or ask me if I wanted food. But I never answer her so she left every time.

I don't want talk to anybody, I cry all the time. I begin to ask me where my tears come from because I just cry since I knew the news, what I have …

I can't believe it happen to me, I'm just 18 years old. I'm too young … I wanted do so many things in my life, and now it's become impossible. Why it's happen to me ?!

I don't want die …

For the moment, I tell anybody about my near death … I don't have the courage to affront the persons I love the most or even my fans … It's too hard to say. I just want stay with them for a long time but now, how can I do that … ?

**Here my new fic. Please tell me if you're interressed about this one, otherwise I abandon this one. I promise I will do cry haha (sadistic laugther). Seriously, if you want a emotional fic, this one is for you ;)**

**P.S : Sorry if I make some mistakes, I try to do my best for you ...**


	2. I don't want to die

**Okay, here the first chapter, I know you judge my fic with a prologue so ... I hope you'll like it. Prepare your handkerchiefs because I plan to make you cry ;)**

**Enjoy ! :D**

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I don't want to die ...

_Laura POV_

I'm in my bedroom since many hours now, I don't know how much time exactly but my mother went many times to knock on my door a few times to talk to me or ask me if I want food. But I never answered her so she left every time.

I don't want talk to anybody, I cry all the time. I begin to ask me where my tears come from because I just cry since I knew the news, what I have …

I can't believe it can happen to me, I'm just 18 years old. I'm too young … I wanted to do so many things in my life, and now it's becoming impossible. Why is it happening to me ?!

I don't want to die …

For the moment, I've told anybody about my near death … I don't have the courage to affront the persons I love the most or even my fans … It's too hard to say it. I just want to stay with them for a long time but now, how can I do that … ?

Well, I can survive, but I have only 3 to 4 % to only live 5 years. And it's only if I do a chirurgical intervention … After that, I should do chemotherapy. I can survive my entire life, but it's very rare … I have many chances to live, only six months and 5 years if I do the chirurgical intervention …

How can I announce that to my loved ones ?

My whole life process in my head since the doctor told me the news … I imagine all the reactions I can receive : my family will cry all day with me, my friends will be shocked and next they will cry, my fans will send me so many tweets …

There is only one I can't imagine his reaction : my best friend, my confidant, the one who always make me smile and laugh, or with who I always argue but just for teasing … Ross.

That will be the hardest … I don't know how he will look at me after that, how he will react, if he will let me down or support me … He is so unpredictable …

Like I have no tears anymore, I look at my phone and see 16 text messages and 24 missed calls. I'd stayed like that for so long ? The most was from Ross, he really cares about me… I really don't know how I can announce him this new…

I look at the date and hour. It's 6:09 p.m and I stayed here to cry without eat or sleep 26 hours. Wouaw, I can't believe I cried all this time …

I finally exited my bedroom, it's the perfect moment to tell to my family because I can't cry anymore …

I go downstairs and join my family who was on the sofa watching tv. There were all here : my mother, my father, my sister and even my dog Velvet.

« Hi. » All their heads turned to me. They all looked worried, certainly because I didn't sleep since so much hours.

« Hi sweetie ! What's going on ? Why were you locked in your bedroom ? » My mother rushs to me while she say that. She really looks worry.

« Well, you remember my stomach always hurt and I'm always so tired ? So, I've seen a doctor yesterday, I did some exams and ... » They all stand up now and they looked at me with a forward look. They want to know the end of the story. But I can't say that to them like that, I'm scared that my mom will faint.

« You should sit down. » They look at me with a scared look now. Once they sat, I put my knees on the ground to face them.

« I know why I was like that, it's because ... » I looked down, I can't tell them that and look at them in the eyes.

« I have a cancer … of pancreatic. And it's the worst cancer because I have almost any chances to survive ... » All my family cries now. They all hug me. We stay like that some minutes.

After a while, my mom looked at me and asked me how many purcent I have. I explain her the chirurgical intervention and chemotherapy.

« You should do the chirurgical intervention, we'll have 5 years with you at least ... » I look at my father and my sister to see their reaction and they nod. So I nod too for them to understand me, I'll do the surgery.

Next, I text all my friends to come at my house so that I can tell them about my cancer. The only I don't have the courage to text is Ross. I want to tell him when we'll be alone …

Half an hour later, my close friends was all here : Raini, Calum, Rydel and some friends from school.

We are in my bedroom and we all cry. They take me in their arm to reassure me.

Raini look at me and ask me why I didn't text Ross between two sniffles.

« Because, I don't know how he will react, I'm scared to tell him. I think it's better if I wait to be alone with him ... » She nods.

« Yeah you're right. He's so unpredictable. » says Rydel. She knows him really well because he's her brother.

« I said it to myself. »

They stay with me all night. They don't want let me alone and they want benefit of me … before I die …

It's Monday now, so like Raini and Calum stayed with me all night, I can go to work with them. Rydel went home and my school friends left for school.

I'm so scared to see Ross's reaction.

We arrive to work place, Ross isn't here for now. I feel relieved.

But the whole team is here so I tell them about my illness. They are all sad, some of them take me in their arm. It's so painful to see them so nice with me. I'll miss all of them.

I hug Kevin and Heith, the Austin and Ally's producers, when I heard something in my back.

« What's going on here ? Why are you all so sad ? »

All heads turn to me. Ross looks at me with a weird look.

« Laura ? Why everyone look at you ? What's going on ? »

I approach him. Once I just face to him, I tell him if he wants to come with me because I should talk to him. He nods but remains reluctant. I see he can feel there is something strange … I take his hand and I take him in my dressing-room.

I close the door because I want just Ross and I, I don't want the others to see us or heard us.

« Okay, Laura, please, tell me what's going on ? You're scaring me. »

« You should sit down. »

« I can fell something really wrong, people say that when things are wrong ... »

« Please, just sit down and listen to me. »

« … Okay. »

Once he sits, I sit next to him.

« Okay, uhh … Ross, you could see I was feeling sick last days ? So I saw a doctor and ... » I look in his eyes and it's my biggest mistake because I can see his eyes in mine, these eyes who make crack every time he does this. So, I can't contain myself. I jut cried and I couldn't finish my sentence … I look down and cry so much ...

Ross takes my hand and with his other hand takes my face so that I can look at him.

« Please, finish your sentence and tell me what's wrong. I want to know because I really care about you .. » I nod.

« I have a cancer Ross and I have so many chances to die. » He withdrew my hand and steps back. He puts his face between his hands. He stays like that without looking at me.

I begin to worry. I cry more. I approach him and try to touch him but he steps back again.

« Ross ? » I tell that with a low voice. I'm so hurt. Everyone reassure me and cry for me. But he just tell nothing and he doesn't cry. One second before he said he really cares about me and now he even look at me or let me touch him.

Worry was replaced by angry now. I stand up to leave the room. But I heard a noise behind me. I stop and turn to Ross.

« What ? »

« How many times we have ? » I tell him everything about that. And that I'll do the surgery.

« So maybe we have 5 years maximum, right ? »

« Yes. »

Now, he looks at me and what I see, shock me. I never saw him like that. His eyes was puffy and red, all his face was wet because he cried and he is crying again.

« I can't believe that, I can't imagine my life without you now. How can I live in 5 years ?! » He shouts when he said that.

« I don't know, I don't want to leave you. »

He stands up and rushs to me. He takes me in his arms and cries so much on my shoulder. I put my arms around him and put him close to me.

I don't want to leave him, I want to stay with like that forever. Even if now, forever means 5 years for me ...

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**Here the first chapter, I really hope you liked it. Please, tell me your opinion in reviews, it's really important for me. **

**Next if you like it 3**

**P.S: I'm dedicated this fic to my friend BreakDownTheWalls (she'll understand ^^). Love you sis 3**


	3. I'm afraid of my fans

**Hi ! Thanks for all reviews, follows and favorites. I have planned 11 chapters for this fic, so here is the second. I hope you'll really love it ! **

**Love you guys 3**

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I'm afraid of my fans …

_Ross's POV_

Now, when I woke up, I felt … weird. Something in my life was really weird now. Oh yeah, I got it, my bestfriend has cancer and she can die. I can't believe it. I don't know how I'll wake up every morning if she dies …

She's in my life now and I really don't know if she would leave. I really care about her, and since I learnt she'll maybe die, I care more about her.

For now, she didn't tell her fans she has cancer, she wants to wait a little. But I think nothing will change if she says it now or later, her cancer will always be here …

I met her at her house, I told her we'll walk today. I want us to live like usual, we really need to forget her illness …

So once, she's here, we just walk in Los Angeles, without knowing where we're going. We talk about all and nothing.

Suddenly, fans come to us, they are Austin and Ally fans. They want to take a picture with us.

But, then, they begin to talk to Laura and she doesn't answer. I look at her and I see her … paralyzed. She has her mouth open and wide eyes. She looks at our fans, she seems … scared.

It's really weird because Laura had never be afraid of her fans, on the contrary, she loves them.

They approach her to ask her what's wrong. But she steps back and she runs far away from us.

I turn to our fans and tell them I'm really sorry. I run after Laura and shout her name in the streets.

I lost her, I don't know where she is, I'm really worried… Where is she ?

I begin to lose any hope, but I have an idea to find her. I take my phone and I call Laura.

I can hear her ringtone, it comes from a little street, all I see is a trash can. So I look behind it and I see Laura. She's sitting on the ground, her head between her legs and she is crying. I don't like to see her cry, it's so painful …

I come to her. And I sit next to her. I put my hand on her back and I begin to stroke her. I just stay here, next to her and I tell nothing. I can't help myself but watching her.

She lifts her head and put it on my chest to mourn. I put my arms around her and my head on hers.

« Th...Thanks Ross, thanks to be here wi...with me. » She sobs when she says this.

« This is normal, you're my bestfriend, I can't let you like that. » It's weird, because when I say the word 'bestfriend', I felt my heart tightening, like I don't like to use this word. But I've always used it, but this is the first time he makes me this effect. I don't know why ...

She looks up at me. She has a little smile on her face. We look in each other eyes. I look in her beautiful hazel eyes, they're so wonderful. Wait, why am I thinking that ?

I see her look at my lips now. She bits her bottom lip. Usually, I would have been embarrassed, but now, she makes me smile. I like the idea she may want to kiss me. But what is happening to me ? Why am I thinking all this kind of thing ? It's just my bestfriend !

But, I can feel myself lean in. Why am I doing this ? It seems I lost control of myself. I am now really close to her. But she moves when I was about to kiss her.

I want to say to myself it's a good thing, because we are just friends and because I feel anything more friendly about her. But I can't, because I really want to kiss her and my heart is so broken now.

I should give me a reason, I may have stronger feelings for her that I thought …

We are now sitting next to each other again, she leaves my arms. She looks straight ahead. She doesn't look at me anymore and it's so hurtful.

An awkward silence settles between us. I don't like that so I talk in first.

« Why did you run like that? »

She looks down. I wait some seconds and I have no answers.

« Well, if you want talk to me, you know you can. »

I see a tear falling on the floor.

« I don't know, I'm just … afraid when I see some fans, I don't dare to answer their tweet ... »

« But why ? They love you, you don't have to be afraid of them. »

« I know but … If they know I have a cancer, if they know I probably die soon, they will abandon me, they will stop supporting me because they'll say that I won't be there in 5 years! » She shouts and she cries more now.

« No. I'm sure they'll always support you. Alive … or dead. » On this last word, I could feel tears forming in my eyes. But I can't show it to Laura that makes me so sad, I need to be strong for her, to give her courage to affront this difficult moment.

Even if I cry all nights since I knew about her … I don't want her to know this, I don't want her to know that I feel so hurtful since I knew the news, I don't want her to know I just want cry every time I see her, every time I don't see her, every minutes of my life ... just right now.

I can't think about the futur, about my futur life … without her. It's too hard to imagine it, I just want her to stay with me our whole life. But now, it's becoming impossible …

I can feel something hot and humid on my cheek now, think about her probable death was a really bad idea. I really want to cry because I don't want her to leave me ...

Laura looks up at me and sees my tears. She wipes them with her thumb and looks at me in the eyes.

« Don't cry. Please. »

« I'm doing my best to not cry but … it's too hard ... »

Tears fall down on her cheeks now.

« I know ... »

We look in each other eyes, now tears just fall down without I give them permission. She kept her hand on my cheek while we're crying.

I want to remember this moment, I want to remember every moment I have with her now. Because it's maybe our last …

We stay like that for minutes. Her new fear comes back in my mind.

« You need to talk to your fans, they deserve to know ... »

« But ... »

« No. Just, talk to them. »

She looks down.

« I'm sorry but I can't do this ... »

« I can be with you if you want, if you need support. Because every problems you'll have now, I'll do my best for help you. »

« Ross, you don't have to do that ... »

« But I really want to, I want to be with you everywhere, anytime. Please just let me help you. »

« Okay, so, if I'll go on a interview, you'll come with me ? »

« Yes. »

She bits her bottom lips and looks to her right. Then, she looks at me again.

« Dana and Joslyn (from ClevverTV) called me yesterday to make an interview. And, you know her, they insist for me to accept so I told them I'll think about it… And I think I'll accept but just at the condition you're coming with me. Are you happy now ? »

« Yes. And don't worry, all will be okay, I'm sure of it. »

I smile at her and I take her hand. She looks at our hand and then look at me with a little smile on her face. And I'm really happy now, because it's the first time I see her smile since she knew about her cancer.

We are now in the ClevverTV's backstages. We wait for Dana and Joslyn to call us for coming on set. Laura looks at the crowd and turns to me.

« I can't, please Ross, let me go. »

I put my hands on her shoulders, I approach my head to hers and look at her in the eyes.

« You can do this Laura, I'll be with you, all will be okay. »

She closes her eyes and take a deep breath.

« Go Laura, you can do this. »

« You talk to yourself now ? »

She sends me a glance. I begin to laugh and she laughs with me. Since we talked behind the trash can, I can make her laugh. My 'Laura's jokes' are my greatest success. And everytime she laughs, that makes me happy. That helps us to forget a little about her futur death ...

Girls are shouting our names now, that's the moment. I look at Laura. Panic is coming back. So I put my hand on her back and I'm stroking her. She looks at me with a little smile. So, I push her a little for helping her to move.

We sit on the couch. That's a normal interview until Dana asks to Laura why she doesn't tweet anymore and why she takes all this time for accept to make an interview.

I look at Laura and see she gasps. She panics again. So I take her hand and I squeeze slightly. She takes a long breath and begin to talk.

« It's just … I was scared to talk to my fans. »

Dana and Joslyn look at each other with a questionning look. Then, they look at Laura again.

« But why are you scared ? You always loved talk to them. »

« I know but … I learnt something, something seriously wrong ... »

« You're scaring us Laura, what did you learn ? »

She gulps.

« I … I have a cancer. »

Dana and Joslyn looked shocked and the crowd is loud now.

I feel Laura intertwining our fingers together. She's scared. So I stroke her hand with my thumb to reassure her.

Girls stand up to take Laura in their arms.

« We can't believe that ! But … how many chances are you, well, if you want to answer us ? »

She explains to them all of this. I can see some people crying in the crowd.

We are now sitting on my car parked in front of Laura's house. None of us tell a word. We are just sitting there in silence.

I ask to myself, what her fans think about it ?

So I take my phone and go on twitter. It asks username and password. So I tend my phone to Laura. She looks at my phone for seconds and finally take my phone.

She puts her username and password but don't press on 'connexion'. She tends me my phone back. I suppose she wants me to look at it. So I look. And after I have seen some tweets, I can't help but smile.

« I told you. »

She looks at me.

« What ? »

« They'll never let you down. Actually, they are really sad about the news but they say they'll always support you. So, say it. »

« Say what ? »

« I was right. »

« Don't make me say that. »

« You should. So say it! »

« Okay, you were right ! Are you happy now ?! »

« Yes ! »

I put my thumbs up and I laugh. She hits me on the stomach.

« Stop it ! You know I hate when you're right ! »

« Yeah, I know. »

We are both laughing now.

« Can I have your phone to see tweets I receive ? »

« You want to see your tweets now ? I thought you didn't want to watch. »

« Yes. But I changed my mind. »

I laugh and give her my phone. I look at her. She smiles when she reads her tweets and I can see tears forming in her eyes.

Since sometimes, I can feel my heart beating faster and harder everytime I look at her or think of her. When I think about the futur, even if I know she has big chances to die, I imagine my futur only with her, not without her. I realized I feel more than friendship for her, I mean really more.

I feel really stupid to not realize my feelings before, before she'll die … But I don't want to take advantage of her, so I take my decision, I'll tell her.

« Laura ... »

She continues to read her tweets.

« Laura ? I need to talk to you. »

She looks up at me.

« What ? You have a weird face. »

« I ... I just want to say you … that I'll miss you so much if you die. Because … I really care about you, well, I mean, I really really care about you. These last days, I realize I feel more than friendship for you and I want ... »

« Shh... Stop. »

She looks at me … in shock. I don't know what that means, I begin to be scared of her answer, does she feel the same way ? Or not at all …

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**So, how will she react to the Ross's declaration ? Tell me what you think about, just to know your thoughts.**

**I hope you liked this chapter and don't hesitate to tell me your opinion :)**

**Love you guys 3**


	4. Forget me

**Hi everyone ! Thanks for all your support. :) I'm sorry to make cry some of you, but I'm happy you're liking my story. **

**So now, enjoy ! :)**

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Forget me

_Laura's POV_

I'm reading my tweets, I'm so happy for all the support from my fans, I love them so much. Even if some of them are breaking my heart, they are saying they are crying for me because they don't want me to die … I can't help but tears come in my eyes, they are so touching.

« Laura ... »

I heard Ross but I don't want stop reading all my beautiful tweets.

« Laura ? I need to talk to you. »

He seems to be serious, I think he wants to tell me something important because his voice breaks when he says that. So I look up at him. And his face is really serious, it scares me a little ...

« What ? You have a weird face. »

« I ... I just want to say you … that I'll miss you so much if you die. Because … I really care about you, well, I mean, I really really care about you. These last days, I realize I feel more than friendship for you and I want ... »

« Shh... Stop. »

I couldn't believe what he had just said, I'm really in shock. I should stop him before he continues, I don't want him to feel that for me, he can't ! Why is he making that to me ?!

« You can't make this to me ! »

When I shout to him, tears fall on my cheeks. I can see him look at me in shock and I even can see he tries to not cry. That's breaking my heart to see him like that but I can't.

I go out of his car and run to my house. I can hear him going out of his car and shout behind me.

« Laura ! What's going on ?! Laura ! »

When I'm in front of my door, I put my hand on the door handle. That hurts me to hear him shout on me with lack of understanding and with his heart broken. I want to jump in his arms and explain him my reaction. But I can't, for him …

So I open my door and enter in my house. I'm now face to him.

He runs to me, he has tears in his eyes. I should be strong for him, I can't let my feelings get the upper hand. So I close my eyes to not see him so broken anymore. I begin to close my door.

I whisper him something really low, I'm not sure he hears me …

« Forget me ... »

« LAURA ! WAIT ! PLEa... »

I close my door just before him. I heard him shout my name behind the door. I put my hands and my head against the door and I cry so much.

It's really hard to see him like that, I really don't like this, but he can't have feelings for me, not anymore …

He beats at the door and continue to shout. It's really hard to not open the door and take him in my arms …

More he shouts, more I cry. Strength leaves me, I can feel that my legs can't support me anymore, I collapse on the ground always against the door.

After a moment, I don't heard him shout or beat anymore. He maybe left. But I don't heard him driving away. I think he's just behind my door. But I don't know why he stays here.

I really want to know but I can't see him. It's maybe for that he stays here, he wants me to worry for him and go see him. But I can't do this.

So before I crack, I leave the door and go in my bedroom.

On my bedroom, there are many pics. Most of them are Ross and I. I take one of them in my hands. Fans don't know about this one, we keep it secret because of all Raura shippers, we knew it kill them of feels. That's Ross who was behind me, with his arms around my shoulders and smiled like an idiot. That's a good memory...

That makes me cry a lot, because I miss the time where we were just happy and so close because we didn't know about my disease …

I want Ross out of my mind. So I go to my piano and begin to play. When I play piano and sing, that helps me to forget. But this time, that doesn't work, because everytime I play or I sing, it reminds me Ross … So I cry much …

After one hour to cry, I look through my window to see if Ross's car is always here and the answer is yes. He just stayed here.

The truth is I'm in love with him for a long time now. But I never had the courage to tell him, I was scared he doesn't feel the same way and we were so close, I didn't want to lose it.

But now, it's too late to be with him, I mean, like a couple. I thought he considers me just like his best friend but nothing more …

I was happy he didn't share my feelings, I was sure I could count on him without him suffering too much. But he has feelings for me now and I don't want him to suffer if I die because I love him and I want the best for him …

I should keep my distance from him, I should tell him to forget me even if that'll be really hard for me … I just hope he'll understand me …

I decide to stay in my house for a few times, just the time for Ross to forget about me.

But he continues to call me, text me or come to my door to talk to me. But I just ignore him.

That's scaring me because that made already one week I stay here without talking to him and he continues, he doesn't give up…

Raini is coming to see me and tries to talk to me.

« Are you okay Laura ? »

« Yes »

I have a little smile on my face and I see Raini frown, I think I didn't convince her …

« Laura, I know you, what's going on ? »

« Well, you know, my cancer »

« No, I mean, what's really going on ? You were always with Ross since you have learnt for your disease and one day you just stay in your home and Ross seems really sad. So tell me what's going on ? »

I sigh, she knows me too well. After all, I think that it can help me to say to someone what I'm feeling right now.

« Okay, you're right. Ross tells me he feels more than friendship for me ... »

She has an understanding look on her face.

« You should be happy, you're in love with him, right ? So why are you so sad about it ? »

« Well, I don't want him to suffer ... »

Tears fall on cheeks. I close my eyes and begin to tremble. Raini sighs and takes me in her arms. I put my head on her shoulder and my arms around her.

« Oh, I understand ... »

« It-It's really hard to-to not see him, I-I love him so-so much, I-I miss him … »

I suffocate a lot because I cry so much. Raini strokes my hair.

« I know … But, maybe that can help you to overcome this hard moment ... »

« Su-sure that can help me, bu-but I really don't want hi-him t-to suffer... »

Raini tightens me stronger in her arms. I'm happy to talk to her. I'm happy to have someone even if she is probably suffering too but I can't help her but to be my friend. We are so close since so much time now, if I keep her away from me, she'll certainly smash my door and force me to stay with her.

« I understand you want to avoid him, but you can't spend, I'm sorry to tell that, the little time you have left in your bedroom. »

I sniff and step back to her for looking at her in the eyes.

« You're right, maybe we can go somewhere, in your favorite store ? »

She wipes my cheeks with her thumb which are full of tears. She looks at me with a small smile.

« Sure, honey. But you can't go with this awful face. »

I nudge her in the arm. She laughs at my action.

« I'm serious, look at you in the mirror. »

I stand up to go in my bathroom and what I see in the mirror scares me. My hair are messed, my eyes are inflated and red, my nose is red too because I cried so much this last week.

« You're right, I'm really awful ! Let me arrange this and we can go ! »

I shout it in order for her to hear me.

« Okay, I'll wait. Oh ! And take a shower because … uhh … your smell is a little … you know what I mean ... »

I smell myself and she's right … again, I stink a lot. So I undress myself and enter in the shower.

I let the water fall on my skin. I should admit, feeling hot water on me makes me feel good. I close my eyes and lift my head to feel the shock of the water on my face like all my sadness will be gone with this.

But, that doesn't work, Ross is always on my mind, he doesn't leave … And like everytime I'm thinking of him, I feel my heart beating faster and my stomach tightening.

I look down to my body and I look at my naked body. I'm asking myself what he's looking like naked. I close my eyes and imagine him. His pecs, his abs, his strong arms ... his big cock.

Think about this make me shiver, I could feel my pussy becoming warm and wet. I stroke it to stop this but that doesn't help. I begin to enter my fingers into me when I heard a knock on my door.

« Have you finished ?! »

Even if she can't see me, I can't help but blush.

« Almost ! »

Well, not really. I wash my hair and my body really fast and got out of the shower. I dry myself, put on clothes, do my hair and make up myself quickly. And I go out of the bathroom to join Raini.

« I'm ready, we can go. »

She nods, takes me by the hand and pulls me.

She opens the door and what I see lets me in shock. I can't move anymore, my eyes and my mouth are wide open. Ross is here.

« Laura ... »

I look away from him, I can't continue to look at him, otherwise, I'll crack and I don't want this. So I left the room by running.

« Laura ! Please ! »

I look while one second behind my shoulder. It's stronger than me, I should look at him, it's like an essential need. I see Ross tries to enter to follow me, but Raini block him with her arm.

« No Ross, please, it's not a good idea ... »

I go in the kitchen, I feel really bad because I see … pain in his eyes, he seems so broken ... like I am …

I hear Ross and Raini talk.

« Please Raini, I need to see her. »

« No Ross, you should move on, it's better like this. »

« But why ? I want to understand. »

I shiver, I'm scared Raini told why I'm avoiding him and if he knows, that'll be harder for him to forget about me …

« Because... the truth is … she doesn't like you, she never did. She pretends to be your friend for the show. So now, move on Ross. »

It's maybe weird, but even if I can't see him, I can feel his heart broken by what Raini just said. It's like, we are connected …

Ross doesn't respond to Raini, the silent takes just some seconds before Raini closes the door but that seem like so more times. It's hard for me too because I love him, really, and I'll die knowing he thinks I hate him …

Raini joins me in the kitchen. She seems to see all the pain I feel.

« I'm sorry to tell him this, but if you wanted to keep him away from you, I think it's done. But, I understand if you hate me now ... »

« No, of course not. It's true I'm suffering but you make the good choice. Thanks Raini. »

She approachs me and strokes my arm.

« Are you always okay to go to the mall? »

I nod.

« Yes, that can help me to make me feel better. »

« Good. »

We stay a little, just to be sure Ross is left and then, we left.

On the road, none of us talk. I look through the window and think about Ross. He won't go out of my mind.

We are now on our favorite store and we try so much clothes like usual. But that's not the same. I try to laugh or even just smile, I really try, but I can't, I'm so sad to not see Ross anymore.

He was the person who wakes me up all mornings, who makes me laugh and smile every moments, every day. But now he doesn't want to be with me anymore, my world is like … dark. And with my cancer, that doesn't help me to be happy.

After trying all clothes in the mall, we decide to go in the snack-bar next to the mall to eat something.

We seat and take our order. We talk a little. But in the middle of the sentence, Raini stops to talk and look at the entrance in shock.

I suppose it's a big celebrity or something so I try to look but Raini takes me by the arm so that I continue to look at her.

« I thought to see a spider but no, I was wrong. So I talk to you about George Clooney ... »

That was a little weird. But I continue to listen to her because I really love George !

But suddenly I hear a voice I know too well.

« Please Calum, I'm not in the mood to eat in town and pretend all is okay. »

I turn to this voice in shock.

« Exactly, that can help you to think about something else. »

« But I can't help but think about her, you know what I... »

Ross sees me and is in shock too. I turn to Raini.

« You knew this ?! »

« No I swear ! »

I get up and ignore Ross so that I can go out of the place. But Ross catches my arm and pulls me in a little street not too far away. I shout at him so many times to leave me alone but he's really strong and he lets go of me only when we are in the street.

« Now, I want explanations ! »

« Raini already told you, so now I want to go ! »

I try to pass but he blocks me. I want to cry but I can't in front of him …

« NO ! I can't believe this ! I know you weren't pretending with me, not pretending to be my friend ! We live so many things before and even after all of this ! I don't believe this ! I can't belive this ! »

Tears fall down on his cheeks now. That's breaking my heart to see him like that. I look away, I don't want to look at him in the eyes.

« Laura, I-I love you ! »

My heart beats really hard in my chest, I want to jump in his arms and tell him I love him too, but I can't … for him …

He takes my shoulders between his hands and searches my eyes in order for me to look at him but I avoid him.

« I really love you Laura ! More than anything ! And I'm really sorry for not realizing my feelings before, before I knew for your cancer, but all I want know, it's to be with you and enjoy every day, every hours, every minutes, every seconds with you, I want to enjoy you before you … before you die. Because I love you Laura. »

Tears fall down on my cheeks too now, I can't help but cry and be touched by what he says.

« I want to kiss you all the time, take you in my arms when I want, well, I already did this, but I really want to be with you Laura. So please, tell me the truth, tell me why you're avoiding me. »

I look down, close my eyes and sigh. I don't know what to do, I'm hesitating now ...

« If it's because you don't want me to suffer, don't do this. Because, if it's your last moments, I want to live them with you. »

I looked up at him, he just answers to my hesitation.

« Like you look at me, I think I'm right. Laura, you can't keep it away from me, because I'll always be with you. »

I'm really touched by what he said. I can't help but jump in his arms this time. I put my arms around his neck and he puts his arms around my waist.

« I'm sorry Ross, but I don't want to you suffer, because I love you too. »

He hugs me stronger.

« You know, I was really devastated, my heart was totally broken, all I see was dark. But I really realized you are really important to me and I didn't want that to be the last time we see eachothers. So I fight to see you again, I want you in my life as long you are alive. When Raini talked to me earlier, I thought some seconds that life was no longer importance for me. But I thought at all we lived and I couldn't believe this. But I understand you, if I was you, I would have done the same thing. »

« So, are you forgiving me ? »

« Of course I'm forgiving you but promise me to let me in your life. »

« I promise. »

He steps back to me and takes my head between his hands. He puts his forehead against mine. He looks at me in the eyes.

« I love you Laura. »

« I love you too. »

Then, he puts his lips against mines to give me a passionate kiss.

I'm happy now because I know he will always be here for me and never lets me down...

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**So, Laura and Ross are finally together ! But how will they live with her cancer and her probably death ? How will they live her surgery ? Will she survive to this ? If she survive, how will they live all these chemiotherapies ? … There are so many questions. But if you want answers to them, continue to read my story and you'll know ;) Well, only if you want I continue, tell me in review if you really want this please, I need to know …**

**Love you guys 3**


	5. Surgery

**Hi everyone! Here my new chapter! Sorry for the wait, I hope you'll love it! Oh and I begin to show it's rating M ;)**

**Enjoy! :D**

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Surgery

_Ross POV_

The last two weeks were the best of my life, because it's the time Laura and I are together. We lived in our own world, we forgot about her disease, we were in heaven. But reality just slap us right in the face today because it's the surgery day.

Laura is really nervous about it, she's really scared to not survive at the operation. I passed all my time to reassure her. In fact, that helped me because I'm scared too and maybe even more than Laura.

I love her more than anything, I know she has big chances to die but I want her up to the hilt. I don't want her to die now, not now we're a couple only for two weeks, it's not enough. I really need her in my life now, when she (I really don't like to say this word) dies, I don't know what I'll do but as long as she is there, I will take care of her.

If something happens during this surgery, I don't know how I'll react. I'll probably make something stupid, I don't know. Or maybe my family will really support me and thanks to them I'll continue to live without Laura …

But if she's not here anymore, I don't think I'll can go with an other girl or something... That will be too hard.

I'm in front of Laura's house. I put my fist up, ready to knock at her door. And, I don't know why, but I can't move anymore, my whole body begins to shake, I'm not ready for it, I don't know if I'll be able to support this.

I turn slowly, ready to run away, when the door opens and I see Ellen, Laura's mother, who is in front of me. I can't turn back now, I have to deal with the situation.

« Hi Ross. Are you ready ? »

« No. »

It's strange, but I can't lie to her mother. I'm really not ready for this. She looks down.

« Me neither. I... I think we'll never be ready... »

I nod. She's right, we love Laura too much, we'll never be ready to let her leave...

We stay in silent for a moment. But Damiano, Laura's father, Vanessa and Laura join us. Laura goes to me and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. Then, she puts her arm around my waist and I put mine around her shoulder. Since I saw her, I can't help but look at her. I follow her with my eyes. All I can think is ''she's really beautiful''.

« So... I think we should go now... »

We all nod. Everyone look sad, everyone is scared shemay not come back with us... We go in the car. Laura is between Vanessa and I at the back of the car.

I take her hand and tight it firmly. She tights mine too maybe a little too hard because her nails are now in my skin. But I don't care, at less, I know she's with me. Then, she put her head against my shoulder and I put mine against hers. We stay in this posture during the ride and nobody talk.

We are now in the hospital and we go see the surgeon. He asks us to sit on the chairs, well, there was only two chairs so we let Laura and her mother to sit down on them. Damiano, Vanessa and I stay up.

I was behind Laura and I put my hand on her shoulder. She takes it and tights it while he explains us what will happen during the surgery. The thing who scared us mainly, it's when he talks about the risks...

« I want to prevent you... Laura, there is only 15 to 20 % that I can remove your tumor, there is a lot of chance that the operation doesn't work... And it's without count all the complications that we can have... »

We all look down... Then, we look to Laura to see what she think about it, if she always wants to do this. She looks up to the surgeon.

« I'll do this and I'll take all the risks, if I can live longer with those I love, I'll do this. »

« Alright so follow me, you should prepare. »

She nods. But before leaving, she takes her mother, her father and her sister in her arms. They all have tears in their eyes. And I should admit, I want to cry too but I don't want to show I'm sad in front of them.

Then she comes to me and takes me in her arms. I put my arms around her and put down my head, I could feel her hair, that's smell really good, an odor of strawberry.

« I love you Ross »

« I love you too Laur' come back to me soon. »

I feel her tight me stronger.

We stay a moment like that, maybe too long because we heard the surgeon cough behind us. We stay back and look at each other. I could see worry in her eyes, I should reassure her.

« Don't worry Laur' all will be okay. »

« Are you sure of it ? »

« Yes. »

I'm lying. I'm really afraid she doesn't come back...

« I'm sorry but it's time to go now. »

We all turn to the surgeon and we nod. I turn back to Laura. I always have my hands on her arms, I don't want to let her go, I want her to stay next to me. Because if the surgery goes wrong, it's maybe the last time I can touch her...

She goes to the surgeron in and I let my hands fall along my body. My eyes don't leave her before she leaves the room.

I'm now with her parents and her sister. We all look sad.

We wait in front of the room a little moment. Then, a stretcher gets out the room next to the surgeon's office with him and some nurses. Laura is laying on it.

We all go to her. She looks to the caregivers.

« Please can you let us some minutes … ? »

They nod and go a little far away. Then she looks to her parents and her sister.

« I want to talk with Ross please... »

I could feel that Damiano is a little disappointed she wants to talk to me and not him, but I'm his boyfriend, only I can do some things that her father can't...

I approach her and take her hand. She wears a blouse and even in this outfit she looks wonderful.

« I don't want to die... »

« Me neither but it's maybe our only chance to live together a little longer... »

« But I want to live so much longer, I don't want to leave you. And if I don't survive to this ? It's maybe our last conversation and I want to talk with you a whole life, I ... »

« Shh ! We'll be okay, we'll talk again after your surgery, don't worry. »

She nods but without real conviction... I'm really scared too and I just tighten her hand stronger. I stroke her hair with my other hand and we just look in each other eyes. I don't know how much time we stay like that but the surgeon and the nurses come to tell us it's now time to go.

« Bye love. Sweet dreams. »

« I'll dream about you. »

« And you'll see me when you'll wake up. »

I give her a kiss on the lips and they push the stretcher away from me. Like I always take her hand, I could feel every part of her hand while she leaves. My fingers touches her palm, then her fingers and the tips of her fingers. None of us want leave the other but when the contact between us was broken, I could feel like my heart is empty, he stops to beat and my breath is cut.

This sensation takes a few seconds, it's like I'm dying. But hopefully, all come back to the normal, my heart beats again but more slowly and I can breath. It's weird, I hope it's not a sign of destiny...

That makes now one hour we wait in the waiting room, we are all stressed. Damiano can't stop to walk in the room, that stresses me more, it's awful. Ellen and Vanessa are sitting on the chairs and are in the arms of each other. Sometimes one of them cry a little and the other reassure her, and this is like that all this time. That makes me sad. Well, in short, it's really hard to be with them without crying or something.

I just sit on my chair and I say nothing since the moment she leaves … Sometimes I move my leg up and down quickly.

Then, a nurse comes to us.

« Hello, I come to you for tell you news about Laura. »

We all rush to her. That should have scared her with the way we look at her, we just fix her to wait she talks.

« For the moment, all is okay. We identified the tumor and the surgeon do all his possible to remove it avoiding making big damages. I'll come every hour to give you news. »

« Thanks. »

She leaves and lets us with this. Well, for the moment she's okay, I'm a little relieved but I'm always scared, I hope the surgeon will make a good job and not kill my girlfriend...

Her family stresses me and scares me more, so I think I'll leave the room for a moment, I need a change of scenery. So I go in the bathroom.

I put my hands on the sink, close my eyes and sigh. It's really hard, if she doesn't come back, I don't know what I'll do...

I look up and look at myself in the mirror. What I see is terrifying. I look like a zombie, I'm really pale and I have dark circles under my eyes. I look really tired and exhausted. I put water on my face and shake my head. I need to calm down.

But I'm so scared what if she doesn't come back and I begin to think about what I didn't do with her, what I would love to do but we don't... Maybe we'll never have the opportunity to do this...

I know she's a virgin and I wanted to be her first... I wanted to make the best to please her, to make her happy, to make her scream of joy. I already imagined how our first time will be. And just by thinking about that, I could feel myself hard in my pants.

I know it's weird, she's opering and I imagine to have sex with her. But, I only need to think about her to make me in this state. And now it's too late, I should take care of my cock or I should go return to her family with a big boner...

So I enter the toilets and take off my pants and my underwear to expose my hard cock. I grab it and begin to move my hand up and down. I close my eyes and bit my lip.

All I can think while I do this is Laura. I imagine her naked, looking at me in the eyes, I imagine trailing my hands on her body. I imagine feeling her skin, feeling her shiver under my contact. Then, I imagine kissing her passionatly. Like I already kiss her, it's easy to imagine it. Her lips are soft and have a taste of gogurt, her favorite food.

I imagine biting her lips and enter my tongue in her mouth. She makes the same and our tongues make a weird dance in each others mouth.

Then my cock is just before her entrance and I move my hips to enter in her. My hand moves faster on my cock, up and down, up and down... In my head, I make the same movement with the same ferocity inside of Laura.

I look up at her and I see she's feeling good, she smiles while bitting her bottom lip. I move faster in my head and on my cock.

I could feel my orgasm come, I tight my cock harder. My body begin to shake and I feel my cum out.

I put my underwear and my pants on.

I hope that I can really do this with Laura and not just in my head …

I go back to my sit while her family is always in the same position. Hopefully, I success to calm me down to not be stressed, well, now I'm less...

Every hour, the nurse comes to tell us how the surgery is happening, and every time, all is okay. What I feel is weird, more the time passes, more I'm stressed but in the same I'm relieved because it's almost over.

Then, the nurse comes for the last time.

« It's over, the surgeon succeed into removing the tumor without sequels. She's okay. Now, she's in the recovery room, you can see her. »

We all sigh. She's alive, she doesn't have the tumor anymore and she's okay. I'm officialy relieved now. I feel lighter.

We rush to the recovery room to see her. She's lying on the bed and she's connected to some machines to see if she's okay. I heard the sound of her heart, well, I mean with the machine. I can't help but think that her heart beats for me. I smile to this thought.

I go to her right side and take her hand. I tight it sowly and stroke it with my thumb. I look at her face. She seems really peaceful. I bend down to her to give her a soft kiss on the forehead. Then, I put one of her forelock in place. She's really beautiful, I can't believe she loves me, it's unbelievable.

Like she doesn't wake up, her family asks me to stay with her. They work tomorrow so they need to sleep. It's late now. But I don't want to let her alone, I promised her to be here when she'll wake up so I'll stay next to her.

Like it's the night, the nurses come to me for ask me if I want go home for sleep but, even if I'm really tired, I should stay with her. After try to convince me many times, they abandoned and let me.

It's now the morning, well, it's early in the morning and Laura is not awake yet. I fight to keep my eyes open and not fall asleep. And even if I'm so tired, I'm quite clear mind to know that's not normal that she isn't awake yet.

So I decide to find someone who can help me. I find a nurse who worked this night.

« Hello, I'm a friend of Laura Marano, yesterday night, she has got a surgery for a cancer. But she is not awake yet, it's not normal. »

« Come on, I'll see what's happening. »

She follows me to the recovery room. Once we are inside, she looks at the monitors and at her file. I see her frown, something is wrong …

« What ? What's happening ? »

She turns to me. She has a serious look.

« Honestly, I don't know. She's supposed to be awake for a while now, it's weird. I'll call the surgeon, don't worry. Stay with her and don't hesitate to call me if she wakes up. »

I nod. I thought she was okay now, but I was wrong apparently... I thought all will be good now, I can't believe there is an other problem ! It's really unfair ! Why the things can't be okay ?! WHY ?!

I take a big breath, I need to calm down. I go back next to Laura and I take her hand.

« All will be okay Laura, I promise you. »

After one hour, the surgeon enters the room. I get up to come to him.

« Hello doctor, I'm happy to see you here. I need to know what happened. »

« Yes I know, sorry for the wait but I was sleeping when I was called. I don't know yet what she has but I'll do my best to know it. »

« Thanks. I called her parents, they'll come when they can. »

He nods. He goes to Laura and look at her file, like the nurse. Then, he leaves suddenly the room, without giving explanations. I'm just here like an idiot, I feel like they just stood me up.

After a while, he returns in the room.

« I know what she has and don't worry, all is okay. The anesthetist gave her an overdose during the operation. He had miscalculated. According to the injected dose, she should wake up soon so keep an eye on her. »

For the second time, I felt relieved thanks to the surgeon, he's really good.

« Thanks doctor, you've done a lot for her, we'll never thank you enough. »

He smiles and nods.

« You're welcome, and don't worry, I'm making this job for a reason, you don't need to thanks me. »

I smile. He goes out of the room and I'm alone with Laura once again.

I take my phone.

« Ross ? Is Laura okay ? »

« Yes, that was the anesthetist who was wrong, he gave her an overdose, she just sleeps more than she should. Don't worry, I'm staying with her. »

« Thanks Ross, I think she chose the good one. »

I smile behind my phone.

« Thanks Ellen, that's mean a lot for me. »

« Bye Ross, tell her 'hi' for us when she'll wake up. »

« I'll do it. Goodbye. »

When I hung up, I hear a little moan. I look at Laura to see her moving. She begins to open her eyes slowly. She finally wakes up, I missed her eyes, I'm so glad I can see them again.

Her eyes are totally open and she looks at me. She smiles.

« Hi sweety, did you make sweet dreams ? »

« Yes, I dreamt about you. »

I smile. Now she's awake, I'm sure she's okay, I could feel my eyes close by themselves. Tiredness takes over. I yawn.

« And I think it's my turn to dream about you, I stayed awake all night to see your beautiful eyes. »

« So, sweet dreams. »

I smile. I put my head on the bed and she strokes my hair. I love to feel her I want to stay with her forever but I have this strange feeling, I don't know but it's like I can feel we are not over with it, after all, the surgery just helps her to leave longer, not all her life … But I'll live every day with intensity, every moments I'll have with her, I keep them in my memory forever for she can stay with me, in a way, alive … or dead.

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**I hope you liked it and you're not too shocked about the part in the toilets ^^' Please review help me to continue (I can have your opinion and that motivate me to write ^^) so don't hesitate ;)**

**Love you all guys 3**


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